Crying, it's alright
by Mrs.Cullen0118
Summary: For Elena it's easy to forget that she is just a human, and a teenager. She yearns for the feeling of a normal life, to just go out with friends, have a normal romance, and especially for all those she's lost. After calling Jeremy in episode 13 in season three Elena wanted to cry, but she didn't. Crying doesn't mean you're weak. Remember, crying, it's alright. One shot!


Just cry.

I got this idea while watching the episode break on through, where so much is needed to be dealt with. I feel like sometimes we forget that Elena is really going through all of this by herself, nobody understands all that is really going on in her head. So since that episode we barely had any Damon and Elena moments, I created this, it takes place after the call Elena has to Jere. Before Damon goes back to boarding house to show Stefan the sign, he stops by Elena's to see her for a moment.

Elena's POV

Ending the phone call with Jeremy the tears could no longer be held in. I have been holding them in for too long, I don't even remember the last time I just let it all out. Holding it all in was my coping method, just telling myself that I can deal with it later. But I'm done with that, it's just so hard to do.

I forget sometimes that I'm a senior in high school, and a human. I've had to make decisions that no teenager will make until they are old, and out of their home town. Most teenagers only have to make the decision on who to go to prom with, or if they'll study for that big test coming up. I don't even have time to worry about my grades anymore, at this point I could drop out and it would just make one thing less to worry about on the giant growing list.

Hearing Jeremy talk about how he got a dog, and was going to hang out with his friends made tears escape even more. I yearned for that, I could even say I wish we were back to the days when all I had to worry about was Katherine trying to kill Jenna. Now I have to worry about Stefan losing control, Alaric going to kill someone, Klaus and his crazy family, and so much more. To look back and see myself thinking that Katherine was my biggest problem made me laugh, if I had only known what would I have done? I would've just wanted to kill myself, in which I would've. Me being gone would solve so many problems, and set so many free. The only thing stopping me was Jeremy, he would only have Ric left and I couldn't do that. No mind compulsion would help him cope with the pain of losing every single person he loves.

"Elena?" I heard the familiar voice of Damon call up my stairs.

I wiped my tears; I didn't want him to see me crying. I couldn't let anyone see me being weak, weakness is exposure. "In my room Damon!"

He came up to the window, and sat down with me. We both just sat there and stared out the window.

"Why were you crying Elena, please be honest with me. No, I will not take some bull crap answer." He grabbed my hand.

"I just want something normal in my life Damon, I want to be in love without any complications, I want my mom and dad, I want to be a cheerleader, I want my life back." I stood up, "It's not fair Damon, things would be so much easier if I died in that sacrifice, but no you had to fight to keep me alive and unbalance nature and piss off mama Original." I didn't cry, even though I wanted to, but I got angry.

Damon stood up and grabbed me into a hug. " First, nothing would be better without you, do you know how many people would probably die? I know I would, Stefan, Jeremy. What would Caroline and Bonnie do without a best friend? Don't even say that Elena, ever. As far as the rest I can't say anything that will make any of this better Elena, all I can do is hold you while you cry. Don't be afraid of crying, it shows that you're normal."

In his arms I did cry, staining his dark shirt. But I didn't care, if I could be somewhat normal for just five minutes of my life, then I'd let it be that way.

Finally after laying down on my bed, with Damon staring at me most likely making sure I wouldn't kill myself, I somewhat fell asleep. Damon started to get off my bed, but before he went I started to ask him a question that had been on my mind for quite a while.

"Damon, stay until I fall asleep, I want to ask you something." I said with my eyes closed.

"Anything for you." He said sitting back down.

I breathed in heavily before asking "If you could change it all Damon, would you? Would you go back to 1864 and not meet Katherine. Would you have gone off and found a nice lady, had a few kids, and died old. Would you still be the best of friends with Stefan, and never had any of this happen?"

"I'm going to be honest with you Elena. As ridiculous as it sounds, no, I wouldn't change a thing. Sure I wish you didn't have to lose so many people and be put through all this at eighteen, and things could be good for all of us. But there is no use in wishing things that you know can't be. If I never met Katherine, I would've never met you. And if I'd never met you, I don't think I'd ever be this close to Stefan as I am now. Sure we fight, but do you think without you we would be here planning how to kill originals together? No, I don't even think we would be able to hold a conversation for more than two minutes. I've also made some friends, as tacky as that sounds. Sure Barbie is annoying, but I can deal with her and with Ric sure he's out killing people, but I know how to look past that. Witchy isn't too bad, even your little brother is some good company. So I'd have to say meeting Katherine was the best thing that could've happened to me and Stefan." He smiled. "Just think Elena, you would've never met the two greatest people to ever live, so next time you see Katherine I'd be thanking her." He wiggled his eyebrows in a way to make me giggle. "Now there's that smile I love to see, now go do whatever your hearts desires like writing maybe, or you can even cry if that's what you want." He placed a kiss on my cheek as I lay in my bed.

"Thanks Damon, now go plot some originals deaths with your baby brother. I'll most likely be seeing you in the morning anyways. Night!" I said closing my eyes and thought of all I needed to move on from.

I wouldn't take most of it back, sure I wish my parents were here, but they would be in so much danger. Jeremy is getting the life he deserves, sure it's not here where it should be but it's better that way. Caroline was a vampire, but all I see out of that was us becoming closer and her becoming a better person. Bonnie was a witch, but that didn't change anything it only brought the three of us together, as we were all supernatural and could find something to rant about. Stefan had once been the love of my life, and Damon had helped me through a hard time in my life. Alaric and I, we took care of each other. Sure I was eighteen, and could handle things if necessary but I will always need a father figure in my life. We humans came together at a perfect time. I had to look at things the best way they could be looked at and make myself smile for once.

I needed to let go of all the anger that had been building, all the sadness, and the pain. I had let it build a wall, and it was all going to come tumbling down if I didn't do something about it.

So I actually did something that I needed to do, and it felt good to let go of the feelings I'd been holding onto. There were things I needed to move on from, so I could fully deal with everything else, one step at a time.

"Dear mom and Dad,

I miss you, a lot. My only wish is that you're proud of me, no matter the choices I've made. I also hope you've found Aunt Jenna; I don't want any of you to ever be alone. All I want is everyone to be happy. I promise you I will always take care of Jeremy, he will always be my first priority, Jeremy always comes first. Now I express my anger, my anger on why you all had to leave us alone here, it's hard but It's my life now. I used to be scared to cry, but now I'm not I just know that it's a sign that I am normal. Out of this crazy mess we call life, I can find something normal to depend on. Well I hope you are looking down at me, and smiling. I hope you don't care that my loves are vampires. One wish I have for you to help me though, is I wish you will help me in making the right choice when it comes down to it. I can't keep pulling the two of them along, it's not fair. I love you, just know that.

Love, Elena." Then I set it aside and began write a letter to everyone who had passed, it was my way of letting go finally.

Finally once one was written to all of them from my parents, to Anna, and even to Isobel and Rose I went to the widow and set the letters on fire while watching them burn into ashes. By the magic I know is there, maybe somehow those letters could get to them, let them now how I feel about them passing and my wishes for them to be happy. I wanted every single one of them to be happy, and never to be alone. While smiling, a silent tear slid down my face. I wasn't sad, I did something I needed to do and it felt so amazing. Maybe I could talk about them now without chocking up, or wanting to end the conversation immediately.

So as I lay down and cry, I knew everything was okay and in the end it all would work out for all of us.

** So what did you think? Should I do a chapter with her and Stefan talking about everyone whose gone? Or just end it? GO and review **


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